Bad Timing

On the positive side… Ally is a champion sleeper. She slept 14 hours last night from 6pm – 8am. She nursed at 10pm (probably because I disturbed her by bringing her into my room when I wanted to go to bed, and she hadn’t eaten since 4pm). Then she nursed at 1:30am and 5:30am. That may not be the most amazing night we’ve had, but I’m grateful that she went right back to sleep each time, that she nurses in around 10-15 minutes, and that she has had her days and nights figured out from the beginning.

On the not-so-positive side… I’m 98% sure that I have mastitis. I have every single symptom, and feel like crap. Fever, every inch of my body aches, redness, tenderness, swelling. I also feel super woozy, and am hoping that Isaac continues to nap until Chris comes home because I feel like if I had to walk up the stairs right now, I might pass out. Plus, Ally’s nursing. (AND since there’s a doctor shortage in TH, if I want to be seen I have to go to the ER and wait for several hours. With Ally. By myself. Feeling like crap).

And did I mention that we’re having 15-20 people over tonight for a BBQ? Chris is leading an impact group this fall for married PSMA students, and they are all coming over to kick off the year. In an hour and ten minutes…

Oh, and today I yelled at Isaac. It was only somewhat “deserved”, and I felt like the worst mother ever. Poor little guy just wants his mommy… but mommy is holding the fussy baby, and feels crappy, and needs to remember to pray for patience.

AND… I feel fat and flabby. Losing the weight the second time around is WAAAY harder. I still don’t fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans… and I’m living in track pants. Which makes me feel frumpy and fat. Getting dressed is sorta depressing.

Um… oh and one more thing… we are weeks away from being out of flying money for Chris. No idea what we’ll do then… except continue trusting God.

And that’s today.

No peppy ending… just a promise of His mercies being new every morning.

Thank God for that.

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About redandhoney

I blog at www.redandhoney.com!
This entry was posted in Emotional Jabbering, The Baby and Toddler Years, Whereby I Ramble About This and That. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Bad Timing

  1. Krista says:

    Sorry you had a crappy day. Send Isaac over whenever you need a break! Ohh….and I am pretty sure every mom has their moments where they loose it and yell at their child…or we may be the only two horrible mothers in the world and I am just trying to make myself feel better.

  2. lola says:

    I’m sorry. I’ll pray for your mastitis and your money. I feel for you in the clothing department. I have a good fifteen pounds that won’t budge. And I want to wear my clothes again! Sorry if this isn’t helping 🙂 Miss you.

  3. Krista says:

    Oh Beth, I TOTALLY feel for you! Definitely thought I had that a couple weekends ago, but it turned out only to be a plugged milk duct that I got worked out. But still, that Saturday I was sooo sore and felt sick. I can’t imagine what it must be like to actually have mastitis! It definitely sounds like you do! Do you know about standing in a warm shower and expressing milk? That seemed to help me the most.
    (((Hugs))) You are a mommy, and you are human. I know you feel awful about it, but more than likely Isaac won’t remember it. He knows you love him, and you really are an awesome mommy. You are allowed to have “off” moments once in a while. It happens!
    As for the flab, well, yea, definitely understand that too. It’s even harder after baby #3. My weight is fine, but the belly flab, yuck. I heard that pilates really help with that, and I hope to get into doing that soon.
    We are having money issues as well. Sometimes it’s hard not to stress, but God is in control. Our money belongs to God anyway, and He will provide. I need to keep reminding myself that.
    (((Hugs))) Hope the BBQ wasn’t too bad and you get help with your mastitis VERY soon!

    Love and prayers,
    Krista

  4. naomi says:

    hey bethers.
    don’t stress about not being able to lose the weight, you look fabulous for just having had a baby a few weeks ago!! and the weight WILL come off in due time. that’s one thing you just don’t need to stress over with everything else going on.
    I’m sorry that you might have mastitis. We’ll pray that it won’t last long and that the community of friends around you (including all those at your bbq last night) will be there to help and support you like we would be here.
    and as for yelling at Isaac, I know he knows mommy and daddy love him. you’re not the worst mother (by far!!) and he will need to learn that mommy only has two hands. Even if you can’t hug or hold him or play with him the instant he wants you too, he will learn to understand that you still love him completely. (I’m sure we all learned that as we grew up when our parents needed to care for other things and we thought that we could just demand their attention) There is no such thing as perfection in parenting but you are doing a fabulous job at coming very close. 🙂

    love you muches.

    n

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