Remember mixed tapes?
I used to sit by the radio with a blank cassette tape, pressing record when a cool/popular song was coming on. I think I taped Savage Garden’s “Truly Madly Deeply” one time. To my preteen self, it was pretty much the most romantic and grown-up sentiment that I could think of. Of course it’s probably not the most accurate depiction of a healthy, Christ-centered romantic relationship, but that’s beside the point. I also made mixed tapes from my sister’s cassettes. I had quite the extensive mixed tape collection. Everything from The Little Mermaid soundtrack to Michael W. Smith, to Savage Garden or whatever was currently “cool”.
I think my life is a bit like a mixed tape right now. So many mixed emotions…
I am currently 12 days from my due date with the little girl that I’ve not yet formally met. Basically, she could come at any time now (the not knowing *when* is an annoyingly wonderfully lesson in patience and trusting in God…). Anyway, lately I’ve been thinking about how things are going to change when she arrives. I’m excited, yes… but also a little sad. I know that my relationship with my favorite little man will change. It won’t be just me and him anymore… I won’t be able to pay as much attention to him as I do now… which makes me a little sad. I hope he understands. I hope he knows I still love him just as much, if not more than before. I hope he feels secure and safe and all those good things that everyone wants for their kids.
I also just have to say – he’s amazing. Really, really amazing. Such a good kid. Every parent says it, so let me not deviate… he’s really quite brilliant. He can count to ten on his own already, and he’s only 21 months old (except for 5, but who needs 5 really?). He’s kind and thoughtful (he “helps” me up by taking my hand when I’m on the floor, saying “Help Mommy! Help Mommy!”) I am absolutely smitten with my babe, and so, so proud of him. Besides, he’s freakin’ adorable to boot!
Really, it’s quite the journey right now. There are so many emotions these days (especially in my current state of brimming with pregnancy hormones!)…
Underlying it all is utter contentment. Sometimes I *really* look around me. I look into my Honey’s tender eyes, or my Monkey’s grinning face, and I feel such gratitude. Such an overwhelming sense of blessing. Life is good, very good.
And, believe it or not, it’s about to get even better…